My Happy Ending

Wow! It's been a busy, crazy week! I found myself celebrating a lot of "endings" this week. Wednesday at noon, I waved as the buses pulled out of school for the last this school year. And, although I'll miss seeing the kids and staff, I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief that I'd made it! Wednesday night I attended the MS Graduation and Thursday night I had the privilege of watching my niece graduate high school. Yet, these endings also signify new beginnings.....the kids on the bus were no doubt celebrating the beginning of summer (so am I!!), the MS students anticipate starting high school and the newly graduated seniors are looking forward to employment or college.

I'm preparing to celebrate the end of cancer treatments next Friday! I have five more radiation treatments left! I'm SO thankful to report it's been going better than I expected. Sure, my skin is getting a little crispy and I'm definitely feeling the "itch." But, I haven't been struck with the overwhelming tiredness. I am currently fighting a sinus infection and allergies, and that's been a drag, but I'm on meds and should be feeling better soon. So, on Friday, June 13th, as I pull out of the Cancer Care Center, I'll be celebrating a brand new beginning, too! I'm not going to lie...it will be an adjustment. For the last nine months, we've been actively fighting the cancer and now we are "done."I don't see my oncologist until beginning of July. I'll continue to receive a drug infusion every three weeks through November. But, I'm waiting for the official "declaration" that I am cancer-free.

Like those students who left school and learned lessons, we've learned many things throughout this journey. I'm looking forward to having time to just sit back and process all that has happened. Man, it's been a year! God has been SO faithful and has always met our needs! I'd appreciate prayers that this last week will go well and this infection will clear up. I haven't been able to sleep due to the coughing. And, please pray for peace as we wait to see the oncologist.

Here's to happy endings and brand new beginnings!! Hmm.....isn't God both the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end? Interesting!!

In His Strength,


Cindy and the VK's

Go the Distance

In my extended family, we have several athletes. I have a niece and nephew who run track and cross country, a niece who does gymnastics and a brother-in-law who competes in several triathlons a year. I’ve had the privilege of watching my nieces and nephew compete in several competitions. I’m amazed at how effortless they make it look. However, I know for a fact that they all spend hours each week practicing and staying in shape. They are strong athletes because of all the time they put in “behind the scenes.” If I were to attempt a 3 mile race or a flip flop, I’d fall on my face because I haven’t been properly trained. I feel like this lesson has become very clear to me throughout this experience with cancer. I need to stay in God’s Word and spend time in prayer to be a strong Christian. Without it, I will definitely fall on my face! Yet, I struggle with staying faithful and doing my spiritual exercise. I envy the discipline of athletes who train faithfully, despite snow, rain, sleet, pain or exhaustion. Dr. James Dobson has been quoted as saying his prayer is to “finish strong.” I totally get it! On a smaller scale, I feel like I see the “finish line” of cancer treatments. I’m counting the days and I’m heading into the final kick! As I view this entire experience and all the emotions associated with it, I don’t want to give the devil a foothold. I’ve been told by several people once it was all over, that was when it got tough. Kind of interesting, huh? So, I join Dr. Dobson in saying I want to finish strong, too and not stop "training" and growing as Christian!

Radiation is going well. As of today, I’ve got 12 down, 16 to go! I’m counting the days! The first few days, I developed a rash, which initially I thought were the burns starting already. It freaked me out a bit. But, turns out it was a reaction to the cream I’d been using to prevent burns. So far, I haven’t really felt any significant tiredness, so that’s been great! The Dr. warned me the last week and the week after will be the worst so we’ll just wait and see what happens. Fortunately, that will happen after school is over! “Normal” is slowly returning! Our eldest returned home from college, plans are being made for summer trips, we are looking forward to graduation celebrations with friends and family, I’m at work every day, enjoying evenings out with friends, and just living. Aside from my morning stop for radiation, my grey “crew cut” and some scars, I’m feeling great!

I’d appreciate prayers that my current energy level will continue and that any skin discomfort would be minimal. Pray that the radiation will be doing it's thing and zapping any stray cancer cells that remained! And, okay….is it wrong to pray for hair to grow more quickly? I’d love to be able to ditch the wig before it gets too warm outside!!

Thanks for your continued prayers and see you at the finish line!!

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrew 12:1

Running this race in HIS Strength,


Cindy and the VK's

Climb Every Mountain

This past summer, our family was blessed to be able to take an incredible trip!. We loaded up the mini-van and headed out west to see Bryce National Park, the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, the Hoover Dam and Sedona. One of our favorite places was Zion National Park. We met some dear friends there and spent the night in the park’s lodge, surrounded by mountains. The majesty and splendor of the park truly suited our maker’s name. And, we did sing “We’re marching in Zion, beautiful, beautiful Zion” several times!

We arrived there on a Friday afternoon and our friends arrived about an hour later, approximately at 3 pm. I thought we’d have a quiet night chatting and enjoying dinner. However, they suggested we hit the trails. It was 101 degrees (but it was a DRY heat…ha ha!) and this out of shape Midwesterner wondered if it was a good idea. But, not wanting to miss out on anything and anxious to chat with our friends, off I went. The hike they chose was a moderate hike and was divided into three parts…the lower, upper and middle Emerald Pools. The first part of the hike
was spectacular although I was “glowing” like a pig. Our daughter was bright red and exhausted and asked to go back to the lodge. Truthfully, I wanted to go back with her. But, Dave quickly volunteered so I wouldn’t miss anything. (I thought he had offered because he was pooped, too, but he proved me wrong the next day when he did the difficult Angel’s Landing hike.) Not wanting to be a wuss, I trudged on. The second part of the hike offered no shade and was a much steeper incline, climbing in what seemed like sand. After the first 100 yards, I realized this was NOT a good idea. Our friends are in fabulous shape and seemed to have no problem. I was sure I would not make it and decided to turn back. However, my friends were incredible….they offered me their walking stick, shared their extra water to cool me, slowed down to my pace and encouraged me constantly that I could do it. And, I’m proud to say…I did! But it wasn’t a solitary victory. It was due to encouragement of my friends.

I’ve thought about this hike a lot throughout this cancer journey. I know without a doubt we have made it through this, thanks to all the encouragement and prayers of friends, family and even strangers. It's been amazing the people God has brought into our lives! When we were weak and tired, help was offered in a variety of ways. When we were too exhausted and overwhelmed to cook, incredible meals were provided. Unexpected phone calls or gifts of love brightened some dreary days. Just going to the mailbox each day is a reminder of love and prayers….one of my favorite things to do! This hike has become such a cherished memory to me throughout my battle with cancer and Psalm 121 became SO real to me…..

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

This Monday, I begin hopefully the final “leg” of this cancer hike. (FYI, the last part of the actual hike in Zion was incredible – more on that later!) Radiation begins at the Cancer Care Center at Good Samaritan Hospital. But, I’ve reached the point where I just want to be done and get on with life. I was able to return to school on Tuesday and that has been wonderful and such a blessing! Logically I realize I need radiation to eradicate any “stray” cancer cells that can’t be seen. But emotionally, I’m tired. So, I’d so appreciate prayers that I can finish strong and that the effects of the radiation will do their thing but not cause too many side effects or problems. I’m a little freaked out about the possibility of skin burns. But, as I'm reminded, God will watch over me, both now and forevermore!

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for helping encourage us up this mountain!! Lord willing, and if I can make it happen, I plan to return to Zion this summer, take that hike again, thank God for LIFE and give thanks for all of you!!

In His Strength,

Cindy and the VK’s

Be Patient, Be Patient; Don't Be in Such a Hurry!

Well, as you can maybe tell from my title, PATIENCE is going to be the subject of this blog entry! As in, I need some….NOW!! I feel as if I’m in a really weird spot in my cancer journey. I’ve commented to Dave I really thought I’d be feeling much better than I am now…thought I’d have less pain, more movement and feeling in my arm and more energy. Things have progressed more slowly than predicted, which has been somewhat frustrating. I’m still not able to drive (Dr.’s orders) and I had to postpone my return to work for at least another week. My husband keeps reminding me it's okay to SLOW DOWN….I had two surgeries within a 3 week span and my body is probably just beat. Yeah, yeah, yeah……but I’m READY to jump back into my life. I’m anxious to see all those those wonderful little faces at school, stop at Jamba Juice for a smoothie, go shopping with my daughter, go on a bike ride, cruise alone in the car, singing at the top of my lungs AND, get this….I’m even ready to (gasp!) DO LAUNDRY! My brain is in high gear, planning what to do next and my body just laughs and says “Yeah, right!”

Something else I’ve noticed is that when I’m feeling better, I lean less on God. Those early days of diagnosis I feel as if I spent a TON of time in prayer and devotions. I miss that. I know I’ve drifted away from that a bit and really need to get back on track! Yesterday, as I was thinking cranky thoughts, the verse “Be still and know that I am God” popped into my head. What a great reminder that rather than crabbing about what I CAN’T do right now, I need to quiet my heart to focus on Him and His will for my life. So, perhaps slowing things down is His way to bring me back to those quiet times.

I meet with the Radiologist for the first time this Tuesday. I’m hoping to leave that appointment with what to expect with the radiation treatments. Prayers would be appreciated that the appointment goes well, that my mobility progresses so I can drive soon and that the swelling I’m experiencing will subside. And, of course, some prayers for patience! Could you please do that RIGHT NOW? (Hee Hee!)

In His Strength,


Cindy and the VK's

Amazing Grace!

Although it is raining outside tonight, it's certainly not dampened the spirits inside the VK home. Dave has accused me of the "hanger stuck inside my mouth" smile. It's been a good week! As you know, we received fabulous news last Tuesday. I always thought that IF that kind of news ever came, I'd be screaming, jumping and acting like a crazy woman. Instead, my reaction was not what I expected. I sat at the dinner table, simply stunned. Then, when I began to call people with the news, I started sobbing. Dave had to run an errand with the kids that night and while they were gone I spent probably 10 minutes bawling my eyes out. Kind of weird, huh? It was just like this incredible relief and perhaps a release of all the emotions that I'd been holding in all these months. Maybe we should have bought stock in Kleenex!

Today, we had a follow-up appointment with my oncologist. As we pulled into the hospital, Chris Tomlin's rendition of "Amazing Grace" came on the radio. The words struck me as I contemplated the amazing grace of God's answer "yes" to the prayers for my healing. My Dr. had some more good news that the brain scan was fine and that the genetic testing came back negative. I asked her if my experience with IBC was typical and she said it wasn't and this was a better response than they could have hoped for. I also asked her about recurrence since IBC has a very high recurrence rate. She told me that because my tumor was so large and had responded so well, the chance of it returning are highly unlikely!! Woo-Hoo!!

The next step is radiation and that will be taking place at Good Samaritan Hospital which is much closer to home. The doctor I see there will determine how many treatments I will need.

Recovery continues to go well. I still have the drain which remains a pain, both figuratively and literally. I'm hoping it's removed on Thursday but it depends on the drainage output which has been pretty high since surgery. But, every day I feel a little better so we are making progress! Please pray that the drain can come out on Thursday and for no complications.

We continue to rejoice over here for the gift of life, both earthly and eternal, and sometimes through tears, but always with a heart full of thanksgiving to God.

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below (and, as we've been reminded, we never know for how long!)
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine

In His Strength,



Cindy and the VK's

Rejoice!!

Here's a blog entry that is short and sweet! We received a call tonight during dinner with biopsy results. No cancer was found in any of the lymph nodes, margins were clear and the remnants of the tumor were microscopic! In layman's terms, this is VERY VERY good news!! THANK YOU LORD!!!

In His Strength,



Cindy and the VK's

Little Things Mean a Lot

Did you ever notice how much detail God puts into things? From exotic flower petals, to unique leaf colors, to each crystal snowflake, to downright weird looking sea creatures, to each distinct human being, His artistry is evident. Yet, in our busy lives, do we always notice those small, insignificant things? We often grumble about having to rake or shovel those "miracles." (ESPECIALLY if you are still getting snow end of March! What's up with that?)

I was reminded this morning of how special those little things can be! I was washing my face and noticed a small line of fringe on my eyelids. I THOUGHT I had seen something a few days back but this was unmistakable! I was SO excited....my eyelashes are returning! The men in my house probably don't understand my giddiness but my sister (who is here helping out for a few days) and my daughter shared my delight. It's just a small thing but it means so much to me! On a day when my arm is very weak and still in a decent amount of pain, a large incision constantly reminding me of surgery and dealing with a stupid drain, to have something return back to normal was huge for me! And, I won't lie when I say the vain part of me rejoices that I won't have "Betty Boopy" eyelashes anymore! So, just thought I'd share my excitement with my blog readers!

Recovery is going well.....every day is a little better. I've been able to catch some good "winks" of sleep but as a friend warned me, I probably won't get quality rest until the drain is out which could be another week. Grr! But, I'm in wonderful hands between my hubby and it's been great having my sister here! We hope to have biopsy results back on Monday.

So, as I dig out my mascara in anticipation, I hope you have an "eyelash" blessing day where you are able to celebrate something small and seemingly insignificant, but is important to you!

In His Strength,


Cindy and the VK's