Be Patient, Be Patient; Don't Be in Such a Hurry!

Well, as you can maybe tell from my title, PATIENCE is going to be the subject of this blog entry! As in, I need some….NOW!! I feel as if I’m in a really weird spot in my cancer journey. I’ve commented to Dave I really thought I’d be feeling much better than I am now…thought I’d have less pain, more movement and feeling in my arm and more energy. Things have progressed more slowly than predicted, which has been somewhat frustrating. I’m still not able to drive (Dr.’s orders) and I had to postpone my return to work for at least another week. My husband keeps reminding me it's okay to SLOW DOWN….I had two surgeries within a 3 week span and my body is probably just beat. Yeah, yeah, yeah……but I’m READY to jump back into my life. I’m anxious to see all those those wonderful little faces at school, stop at Jamba Juice for a smoothie, go shopping with my daughter, go on a bike ride, cruise alone in the car, singing at the top of my lungs AND, get this….I’m even ready to (gasp!) DO LAUNDRY! My brain is in high gear, planning what to do next and my body just laughs and says “Yeah, right!”

Something else I’ve noticed is that when I’m feeling better, I lean less on God. Those early days of diagnosis I feel as if I spent a TON of time in prayer and devotions. I miss that. I know I’ve drifted away from that a bit and really need to get back on track! Yesterday, as I was thinking cranky thoughts, the verse “Be still and know that I am God” popped into my head. What a great reminder that rather than crabbing about what I CAN’T do right now, I need to quiet my heart to focus on Him and His will for my life. So, perhaps slowing things down is His way to bring me back to those quiet times.

I meet with the Radiologist for the first time this Tuesday. I’m hoping to leave that appointment with what to expect with the radiation treatments. Prayers would be appreciated that the appointment goes well, that my mobility progresses so I can drive soon and that the swelling I’m experiencing will subside. And, of course, some prayers for patience! Could you please do that RIGHT NOW? (Hee Hee!)

In His Strength,


Cindy and the VK's

Amazing Grace!

Although it is raining outside tonight, it's certainly not dampened the spirits inside the VK home. Dave has accused me of the "hanger stuck inside my mouth" smile. It's been a good week! As you know, we received fabulous news last Tuesday. I always thought that IF that kind of news ever came, I'd be screaming, jumping and acting like a crazy woman. Instead, my reaction was not what I expected. I sat at the dinner table, simply stunned. Then, when I began to call people with the news, I started sobbing. Dave had to run an errand with the kids that night and while they were gone I spent probably 10 minutes bawling my eyes out. Kind of weird, huh? It was just like this incredible relief and perhaps a release of all the emotions that I'd been holding in all these months. Maybe we should have bought stock in Kleenex!

Today, we had a follow-up appointment with my oncologist. As we pulled into the hospital, Chris Tomlin's rendition of "Amazing Grace" came on the radio. The words struck me as I contemplated the amazing grace of God's answer "yes" to the prayers for my healing. My Dr. had some more good news that the brain scan was fine and that the genetic testing came back negative. I asked her if my experience with IBC was typical and she said it wasn't and this was a better response than they could have hoped for. I also asked her about recurrence since IBC has a very high recurrence rate. She told me that because my tumor was so large and had responded so well, the chance of it returning are highly unlikely!! Woo-Hoo!!

The next step is radiation and that will be taking place at Good Samaritan Hospital which is much closer to home. The doctor I see there will determine how many treatments I will need.

Recovery continues to go well. I still have the drain which remains a pain, both figuratively and literally. I'm hoping it's removed on Thursday but it depends on the drainage output which has been pretty high since surgery. But, every day I feel a little better so we are making progress! Please pray that the drain can come out on Thursday and for no complications.

We continue to rejoice over here for the gift of life, both earthly and eternal, and sometimes through tears, but always with a heart full of thanksgiving to God.

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below (and, as we've been reminded, we never know for how long!)
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine

In His Strength,



Cindy and the VK's

Rejoice!!

Here's a blog entry that is short and sweet! We received a call tonight during dinner with biopsy results. No cancer was found in any of the lymph nodes, margins were clear and the remnants of the tumor were microscopic! In layman's terms, this is VERY VERY good news!! THANK YOU LORD!!!

In His Strength,



Cindy and the VK's