I thought long and hard about what to name this post. As you may know, we had an appointment with the oncologist this past Wednesday. I didn’t think I was anxious about it but realized after it was over that I had been tense. It’s official….I’m “NED….No Evidence of Disease!” So, my original thoughts were to name it “I’m a Survivor” or “I Will Survive.” If you haven’t noticed, all of my blog titles were name of songs, with the exception of “I Hate this Part,” which is my made-up chant. This became a fun challenge to think of what song best fit my mood and the subject of the blog. And, in a lot of ways, music played a huge role in helping to cheer me, inspire me, comfort me and feel God’s nearness throughout this entire battle for my life. So, for this blog I chose the song by Casting Crowns “Let my Lifesong Sing to You!” As we continue to travel this road called “life,” I pray my life will praise Him, whether up on the mountain or down in the valley. Many times I’d be in a funk and turn on the radio and a song would come on that I needed to hear and change my mood around. Or, I’d be struggling with fear and the radio would play a song that reminded me that God was in control. The last day of my official treatment I got in the car to find the country song “I Want to Live” playing and I sobbed the whole way home….but happy tears of relief!
This morning in church as I hugged a fellow breast cancer survivor who had heard our great news, I jokingly said…”Yep…we are just too ornery to be done yet!” To which she replied “No, God still has plans to use us!” I LOVED that! That was such an important prayer to both Dave and I at the beginning of all this….that He would use us and He would be glorified!
So, now we begin a “new” normal…..things will never be the same in a lot of ways for us. I continue to deal with a few lingering issues caused by the cancer, some which may never be resolved or go away. And, that is upsetting and will take some getting used to. The fear of recurrence still hangs over my head and that freaks me out a bit. As much as I WANT things to go back to the way they used to be, I know they never will. And, I need to adjust to how things are now and that will take some time.
I’ve decided to end our blogs with this post. I debated about whether to continue and felt it fitting to finish with this happy ending. Who knows what God has planned next for us? However, as always, I was reminded that when we seek God, we will find Him. Devotions on Wednesday included the reading of Psalm 139. These precious words of Scripture brought me peace: “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” God knows what is next for me and I will continue to put my trust in Him that He will bring me through it!
So, I end this blog with a grateful heart to all our faithful prayer warriors and for all the love and support we’ve experienced from everyone! Words can’t begin to express our appreciation for all the help we have received. We know we couldn’t have done it alone!
I started my first blog entry with the title and words from the first verse of one of my favorite songs… “In Christ Alone.” We sang it in church again this morning. I’ve always teared up during this song. After this past year, it has an even more powerful effect on me and I literally can not sing the last verse, due to overwhelming emotion. So, it seems fitting to end with the final verse from that song. Thanks for coming along on this journey with us!! To God be the Glory!!!!
No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.
In His Strength,
Cindy and the VK’s
