Hey, Hey! It's me...."live" from room 350 at Rush Medical Center! Gotta love wireless internet and laptops! Today I am breathing a HUGE sigh of relief! Surgery is over and we have received a good preliminary report! We won't know for sure until the official biopsy comes back which they said will be 3-5 business days. But, the doctors were encouraging and said they didn't see any abnormalities. And, thankfully, they only had to take one string of the lymph nodes.
For the most part, things went pretty smoothly. Dave and I were both able to sleep a good 5-6 hours the night before surgery. I was a little nervous, understandably so, but as surgery got closer, I felt such peace and I KNOW it was the power of prayer! It was kind of funny because the staff "lost" me for a while, which actually delayed surgery a good hour. They had brought me down to the pre-op area and apparently I was put in the wrong stall so no one knew where I was. (I guess I still cause trouble, even when I'm trying to behave!) While I lay there all alone, again, I just felt so calm and at peace so thank you SO MUCH to all our prayer warriors!! After surgery I felt pretty groggy and slept on and off all day. I'm feeling much more alert today but still in some pain. I'll be going home sometime on Thursday.
So, prayers of thanksgiving that things went well and that things are looking good! Please pray for a good recovery and also for sleep! I've been having trouble sleeping the last couple of nights (gee...wonder why?) and it would be nice to get back to a regular sleep cycle.
I'll be sure to update once we get the official results. Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by and the care, love and concern you have shown our family!!
In His Strength,
Cindy and VK's
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Only Hope
The last few months, I've become very aware of the use of the word "hope." It's a word I probably say quite a few times a day, often over fairly trivial things. "I HOPE the weather is nice today. I HOPE the grocery store isn't crowded. I HOPE the delivery man is on time." You get the point. However, sometimes our "hopes" carry more weight....."I HOPE my friends have safe travel." I HOPE my niece's biopsy comes back negative." "I HOPE my friend is feeling God's peace in the loss of a parent."
When the Dr. told me it was IBC, being the computer nerd I am, I spent HOURS surfing the net looking for information and hope. Although it offered a ton of info, it didn't offer much hope. Site after site said people with IBC have a 50% change of making it five years. Those stats were depressing. That meant I had a 50% chance of seeing our youngest graduate high school. As a parent, that broke my heart. I'll admit, I probably cried more than slept that evening. Since then, we've learned new drugs have changed the outlook but they haven't been reflected in the stats. Our doctor assured us IBC can be cured. Recently, a board I frequent on-line of all IBC'ers counted it's members who were long term survivors. As I scrolled down and saw name after name of women who had made it 10 years, 20 years and even one 31 years, I cried. This time, the tears were those of hope.
However, after I thought about it, I realized perhaps I was putting my "hope" in the wrong things. Just because someone on that board survived 10 years, doesn't mean that is God's plan for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being a pessimist. I've just come to understand that what will be, will be. It's all in God's hands. He is our ultimate Hope. Even when things in our lives seem hopeless, in the end, we have the promise of eternal life. As it says in Hebrews 11:1, "Now faith is the assurance of things HOPED for, the conviction of things not seen." As Christians, when our earthly hopes fail, our Heavenly Hope prevails!
Surgery is scheduled for this Tuesday. And yes, I'm HOPING for a good outcome! I'd be grateful if you could take a moment and pray that things will go smoothly. Specifically, please pray for peace for Dave and I, that the cancer will be gone, for minimal lymph node removal and a good recovery. It's unclear if I'll be in the hospital for one or two nights. It depends on how I'm doing and what our insurance decides.
We hope that you and yours have a Blessed Easter, celebrating the HOPE we were given at the empty tomb and our risen Lord!!
In His Strength,
Cindy and the VK's
P.S. Good news...I finally got some of those closets cleaned out! :-)
When the Dr. told me it was IBC, being the computer nerd I am, I spent HOURS surfing the net looking for information and hope. Although it offered a ton of info, it didn't offer much hope. Site after site said people with IBC have a 50% change of making it five years. Those stats were depressing. That meant I had a 50% chance of seeing our youngest graduate high school. As a parent, that broke my heart. I'll admit, I probably cried more than slept that evening. Since then, we've learned new drugs have changed the outlook but they haven't been reflected in the stats. Our doctor assured us IBC can be cured. Recently, a board I frequent on-line of all IBC'ers counted it's members who were long term survivors. As I scrolled down and saw name after name of women who had made it 10 years, 20 years and even one 31 years, I cried. This time, the tears were those of hope.
However, after I thought about it, I realized perhaps I was putting my "hope" in the wrong things. Just because someone on that board survived 10 years, doesn't mean that is God's plan for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being a pessimist. I've just come to understand that what will be, will be. It's all in God's hands. He is our ultimate Hope. Even when things in our lives seem hopeless, in the end, we have the promise of eternal life. As it says in Hebrews 11:1, "Now faith is the assurance of things HOPED for, the conviction of things not seen." As Christians, when our earthly hopes fail, our Heavenly Hope prevails!
Surgery is scheduled for this Tuesday. And yes, I'm HOPING for a good outcome! I'd be grateful if you could take a moment and pray that things will go smoothly. Specifically, please pray for peace for Dave and I, that the cancer will be gone, for minimal lymph node removal and a good recovery. It's unclear if I'll be in the hospital for one or two nights. It depends on how I'm doing and what our insurance decides.
We hope that you and yours have a Blessed Easter, celebrating the HOPE we were given at the empty tomb and our risen Lord!!
In His Strength,
Cindy and the VK's
P.S. Good news...I finally got some of those closets cleaned out! :-)
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
I Haven't Got Time for the Pain!
After writing my last blog, I figured it might be a while until my next update. I thought I'd be SO busy cleaning out closets and of course, having some fun! Monday was a good day.....I finally felt better with my cold. We had a fabulous dinner and afterwards, the kids and I played "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?" (Apparently, I'm not!) However, as the evening progressed, I became aware of a dull pain on my right side. By bedtime, it was getting pretty bad. I attempted to go to sleep without any success. Around 12:45 am Tuesday morning, I talked to my Dr. who suggested I head to the ER. After HOURS of waiting and several tests, it was determined I had appendicitis and would need surgery ASAP to remove the appendix. The Dr. who delivered the news probably thought we were nuts because Dave and I both just started laughing. It was kind of like.."What else?" The OR's were all booked until early afternoon so surgery was set for 1:30 pm on Tuesday. They gave me some meds for the pain and we were brought to a room. When they took me to surgery, the med student wrote in her notes that I was "calm and relaxed." Um....no, more like EXHAUSTED as I'd been up a straight 32 hours by that point. Surgery went well and I spent the night in the hospital and was released Wednesday afternoon. I'm still in some pain, but it's nice to be home!
It might sound strange, but I'm thankful it happened when it did. God's timing is perfect! I had been having some intermittent pain there the past few months so I'm thinking my appendix was the culprit. My blood counts were okay for having surgery and thankfully, this didn't happen during my really "bad" part of chemo or during the Florida trip. And, having never had a surgery before, I better know what to expect for the next one. (Dave kept asking if we could just do them both and get a price break.) The staff was FABULOUS over at Rush and I was confident I was in good hands. As we waved goodbye to the staff we told them "See you in three weeks!" (I was told I'll probably be on the same floor next time, too)
So, please pray for a good recovery without any complications. They reassured us this should not interfere with the next surgery. Also, please pray for some "boring" in our lives!! It's really been a crazy couple of weeks! Thanks so much for your prayers, support and concern! Here's hoping my next blog update is really dull!!
In His Strength,
Cindy and the VK's
It might sound strange, but I'm thankful it happened when it did. God's timing is perfect! I had been having some intermittent pain there the past few months so I'm thinking my appendix was the culprit. My blood counts were okay for having surgery and thankfully, this didn't happen during my really "bad" part of chemo or during the Florida trip. And, having never had a surgery before, I better know what to expect for the next one. (Dave kept asking if we could just do them both and get a price break.) The staff was FABULOUS over at Rush and I was confident I was in good hands. As we waved goodbye to the staff we told them "See you in three weeks!" (I was told I'll probably be on the same floor next time, too)
So, please pray for a good recovery without any complications. They reassured us this should not interfere with the next surgery. Also, please pray for some "boring" in our lives!! It's really been a crazy couple of weeks! Thanks so much for your prayers, support and concern! Here's hoping my next blog update is really dull!!
In His Strength,
Cindy and the VK's
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Can You Read My Mind?
Yep...it's a picture of me! I had the brain MRI this past Thursday and they also gave me a disk with the images. I thought they were pretty cool! We are still waiting for results. The test went well, although it was a little freaky. I'm not really a claustrophobic person but as the table moved me into the machine, I had a fleeting moment of panic. I closed my eyes, said a quick prayer and just listened to the strange percussion "concert" while inside the machine and then I was fine.This past "post-chemo" went okay....I wasn't as severely tired but it has seemed to last longer. Although, just as I was starting to come out of the chemo haze, I came down with a really bad cold. And, unfortunately, so did the rest of the family, although Dave and I have been hit the worst. So, between chemo and the cold, I feel like I've just been "down" for a long time. There are so many things I'd like to get done before surgery so it's somewhat frustrating to be doing nothing. I never thought I'd see the day when I wished I felt better so I could clean out a closet!
Prayers would greatly be appreciated that the scan comes back as good news. Please pray that we will get over these colds and stay healthy so surgery can stay on schedule.
Thanks for stopping by! I'll update once we get results back from the scan.
In His Strength,
Cindy and the VK's
P.S. And, no "Wow....you really DO have a brain" jokes in the comments! (You know who are are!) ;-)
Friday, February 22, 2008
Raining on the Inside
You’ve heard the expression “Into each life, a little rain must fall?” Well, we’ve kind of been having that kind of week! Monday was a day off so I planned to do my typical pre-chemo “nesting.” I hoped to get caught up on laundry and get the house cleaned up. During my 2nd load, our washing machine gave out. (Ironically, our stove died two weeks ago and had to be replaced as well.) Dave took a look at it when he got home and the part we needed was over $200 so it wasn’t worth trying to fix so we moved it into the garage. Next morning, we woke up to a BIG mess. One of the pipes had leaked all night long into our finished basement. The ceiling drywall was drenched and had collapsed, leaving a good 20x7 foot hole in our ceiling and soaking wet carpet. Dave took the day off to clean up the mess. That night we went shopping for a new machine and thankfully, found a GREAT deal on a machine that could be delivered the next day. However, Dave’s car began making a horrible noise and now his car needs to be fixed. Then we talked to our son at college and the “Check Engine” light went on in that car, too. Grr!
Thursday was chemo. I was SO excited it was my last one and brought in cookies for the staff to celebrate. However, talking to the Dr., she mentioned depending on what they find during surgery, I may need more chemo. It’s never been mentioned as a possibility so it was a harsh reality check. Also, I had several bouts of vertigo after my last chemo which I mentioned to the Dr. and she ordered a brain MRI to check it out. So, just a lot to digest on a day I thought I’d feel relief and joy!
Prayers would be appreciated that I WON’T need more chemo and that the brain scan comes back as nothing! (Well, at least that it shows a brain!) I've heard from several people that one of the chemo drugs I'm on CAN cause dizziness. I talked to a friend of mine who said that is one of the unsettling things about cancer…..you just never know what is around the corner. And, that’s hard for me to not know what to expect because I’m such a “planner.” (I'm already trying to figure out if we can squeeze in a vacation this summer and when I can expect my hair to grow back!)
But again, God has not been silent. As we checked out and made some follow-up appointments, hanging on the wall of the cubicle was this verse….”Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” (I Peter 5:7) What a great reminder that we have a God who cares about us and the things that trouble us! Whether it be leaking basements, car problems, broken appliances, health issues, or broken hearts, He is always there and ready to listen!
In His Strength,
Cindy and the VK’s
Thursday was chemo. I was SO excited it was my last one and brought in cookies for the staff to celebrate. However, talking to the Dr., she mentioned depending on what they find during surgery, I may need more chemo. It’s never been mentioned as a possibility so it was a harsh reality check. Also, I had several bouts of vertigo after my last chemo which I mentioned to the Dr. and she ordered a brain MRI to check it out. So, just a lot to digest on a day I thought I’d feel relief and joy!
Prayers would be appreciated that I WON’T need more chemo and that the brain scan comes back as nothing! (Well, at least that it shows a brain!) I've heard from several people that one of the chemo drugs I'm on CAN cause dizziness. I talked to a friend of mine who said that is one of the unsettling things about cancer…..you just never know what is around the corner. And, that’s hard for me to not know what to expect because I’m such a “planner.” (I'm already trying to figure out if we can squeeze in a vacation this summer and when I can expect my hair to grow back!)
But again, God has not been silent. As we checked out and made some follow-up appointments, hanging on the wall of the cubicle was this verse….”Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” (I Peter 5:7) What a great reminder that we have a God who cares about us and the things that trouble us! Whether it be leaking basements, car problems, broken appliances, health issues, or broken hearts, He is always there and ready to listen!
In His Strength,
Cindy and the VK’s
Monday, February 18, 2008
Girls Just Want to have Fun!
One thing that has been really important to me through all this is to try to keep things as “normal” as possible. When your life gets turned upside down, normal and even mundane activities can become a real comfort. I hate to miss out on things I normally enjoy. One thing I LOVE to do is travel! Years ago, and long before the movie, my family christened me “Happy Feet” because I’m always looking forward to my next vacation or a new place to visit. When I was diagnosed, I thought it would be a while until I could take a trip and that was depressing to me. I had a tentative trip planned with girlfriends to Florida for this February and was sad I would now miss it. I thought “Hopefully, next year.” However, God is good and details fell into place for me to still go and it would be during my “good” week. When I asked the Dr. if I could go she replied “Cindy, I don’t think you ‘can’ go, I think you SHOULD go!” She then proceeded to write me a “prescription” for a trip to Florida! How could Dave argue with that? I was a little worried, thinking what if something happens and I’m far from home? I’m happy to report that I’m now home from my trip to Florida and we had a GREAT time! It was so wonderful to be there and not have to think about treatments, Dr. appointments and what happens next. We enjoyed sunny weather in the high 70’s, walking the beach, shopping, reading by the pool, eating at great restaurants, laughing (a LOT!) and celebrating the gift of friendship and being alive! It was so nice to take a “vacation” from cancer and I think it was probably good for the family, too! I just felt “normal!” (Well, as “normal” as I get!!)
My next chemo is this Thursday, February 21 and my LAST one! YEAH!! The surgeon appointment went well and surgery is scheduled for Tuesday, March 25. I’m asking for prayers that this last treatment goes well. It took me a good week to really bounce back from the last one. I was tired and cranky! Also, praise for the great trip…it really was good for me emotionally. Please continue to pray for all of us as we continue to figure out “living” with cancer.
In the condo we stayed at in Florida, there was a magnet on the fridge with Isaiah 40:31, which as I mentioned in an earlier posting, is my favorite verse. As I re-read those words I know by heart, He gently reminded me that He WILL renew our strength just when we need it. I love how God speaks to us, even with a refrigerator magnet!
In His Strength,
Cindy and the VK’s
My next chemo is this Thursday, February 21 and my LAST one! YEAH!! The surgeon appointment went well and surgery is scheduled for Tuesday, March 25. I’m asking for prayers that this last treatment goes well. It took me a good week to really bounce back from the last one. I was tired and cranky! Also, praise for the great trip…it really was good for me emotionally. Please continue to pray for all of us as we continue to figure out “living” with cancer.
In the condo we stayed at in Florida, there was a magnet on the fridge with Isaiah 40:31, which as I mentioned in an earlier posting, is my favorite verse. As I re-read those words I know by heart, He gently reminded me that He WILL renew our strength just when we need it. I love how God speaks to us, even with a refrigerator magnet!
In His Strength,
Cindy and the VK’s
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Lullabye and Good Night!
Well, Chemo #5 happened almost a week ago and I figured it was time to check “Update Blog” off my to-do list! Chemo itself went very well! Very little waiting this time around, which was nice. My chemo buddy was a good friend and we had a very enjoyable chat during the infusion part. Dave called about midway through to see how things were going and THEN asked if she had beat me at cards. (Probably the REAL reason he called!) Hey..you can’t lose if you don’t play, right? We also managed to avoid much of the snow that hit the area as we were done by 1 pm. Even had enough time to stop at Starbucks for a hot chocolate (and yes, more chatting!)
My physical complaints are few this time, which has been really nice. However, the fatigue has been really bad. I spent all Saturday in bed sleeping. (I didn’t know a person COULD sleep that much!) That was hard because it was our daughter’s 12th birthday. Granted, we had celebrated about a week ago when our son was home from college, but I still feel like I "missed" the day. Dave was a great dad and took her and her cousin rock climbing and it sounds like they had a blast. On Sunday, about 5:30 pm I gathered all my energy to make my first trip downstairs to watch the Super Bowl with Dave and promptly fell asleep….again! You’ll be happy to know I DID manage to stay awake for the 2nd half. What a great game! (Well, if you were cheering for the Giants!) Monday I didn’t even attempt work. By Monday evening, I was bored out of my mind! If you know me, I don’t like to sit a lot…I’m always looking for something fun to do. I was still really tired and just frustrated! (If you don’t believe me, ask my fam!) Tuesday morning came and my “bored” self decided I was going to work. My body said “What!? Are you kidding me?” I made it through the day and that brings us to today. Feeling better, but not great yet. Let’s just say I’m REALLY glad there is only one more treatment left! YEAH!!
We see the surgeon this Friday. Many people have asked if the mass is gone, do I still need surgery? Unfortunately, the answer to that is yes. Inflammatory Breast Cancer is different because it isn’t a contained tumor. It grows in “nests” or “sheets” and infiltrates the tissue. Because it is such an aggressive type, chemo, followed by surgery and radiation is recommended to increase the chance of long term survival. And, since I’d like to be around for a while, I’ll go with it!
And, forgive me for the “ad” but I thought these were really cool and decided to share because it seems everyone knows someone who has or had breast cancer and this is a good cause. My Nurse Practitioner, Teri, makes and sells these adorable bracelets with proceeds going to the Rush University Breast Cancer Research Fund. They are a really beautiful piece of jewelry made with Swarovski crystal and sterling silver for $30. Of course, I bought one….leave it to me to SHOP at chemo! If you are interested, you can order them from her website at http://www.bobbiesbracelets.com. (FYI, the photo of the bracelet on her site really doesn't do it justice!)
We would really appreciate prayers that the appointment with the surgeon goes well and that we will be able to make wise decisions. Also, please pray I’ll have a boost in energy. I’ve got things to do and place to go!! I hope I didn’t sound too whiney this entry….I’m just being honest as to what is going on. As we battle cancer and the tiredness it brings, on so many levels, we continue to rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him!!
In His Strength,
Cindy and the VK’s
My physical complaints are few this time, which has been really nice. However, the fatigue has been really bad. I spent all Saturday in bed sleeping. (I didn’t know a person COULD sleep that much!) That was hard because it was our daughter’s 12th birthday. Granted, we had celebrated about a week ago when our son was home from college, but I still feel like I "missed" the day. Dave was a great dad and took her and her cousin rock climbing and it sounds like they had a blast. On Sunday, about 5:30 pm I gathered all my energy to make my first trip downstairs to watch the Super Bowl with Dave and promptly fell asleep….again! You’ll be happy to know I DID manage to stay awake for the 2nd half. What a great game! (Well, if you were cheering for the Giants!) Monday I didn’t even attempt work. By Monday evening, I was bored out of my mind! If you know me, I don’t like to sit a lot…I’m always looking for something fun to do. I was still really tired and just frustrated! (If you don’t believe me, ask my fam!) Tuesday morning came and my “bored” self decided I was going to work. My body said “What!? Are you kidding me?” I made it through the day and that brings us to today. Feeling better, but not great yet. Let’s just say I’m REALLY glad there is only one more treatment left! YEAH!!
We see the surgeon this Friday. Many people have asked if the mass is gone, do I still need surgery? Unfortunately, the answer to that is yes. Inflammatory Breast Cancer is different because it isn’t a contained tumor. It grows in “nests” or “sheets” and infiltrates the tissue. Because it is such an aggressive type, chemo, followed by surgery and radiation is recommended to increase the chance of long term survival. And, since I’d like to be around for a while, I’ll go with it!
And, forgive me for the “ad” but I thought these were really cool and decided to share because it seems everyone knows someone who has or had breast cancer and this is a good cause. My Nurse Practitioner, Teri, makes and sells these adorable bracelets with proceeds going to the Rush University Breast Cancer Research Fund. They are a really beautiful piece of jewelry made with Swarovski crystal and sterling silver for $30. Of course, I bought one….leave it to me to SHOP at chemo! If you are interested, you can order them from her website at http://www.bobbiesbracelets.com. (FYI, the photo of the bracelet on her site really doesn't do it justice!)
We would really appreciate prayers that the appointment with the surgeon goes well and that we will be able to make wise decisions. Also, please pray I’ll have a boost in energy. I’ve got things to do and place to go!! I hope I didn’t sound too whiney this entry….I’m just being honest as to what is going on. As we battle cancer and the tiredness it brings, on so many levels, we continue to rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him!!
In His Strength,
Cindy and the VK’s
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